A Funny...

A (really) Bad Joke!

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

And now...a bit of humor!

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within.  Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.  Shocked, she asked: "What in the world are you doing?" 


The daughter replied: "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband.  Please, go away and leave me alone." 


The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door.  Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.  To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: "Dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband.  Please, go away and leave me alone." 


A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip , placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room.  She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.  The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.  The wife asked: "What the f**k are you doing?" 


The husband replied: "I'm watching football with my son-in-law!"